apathetic girliness.: Bravo's Southern Charm

http://gayestofalltime.com/2014/02/26/the-upper-east-side-reviews-bravo-tvs-southern-charm/

Y'all, it's happening. Bravo released the preview at the beginning of the year and now the premiere date for its new "reality" TV show, Southern Charm, is upon us. For those of you who haven't heard about Southern Charm, it follows the shenanigans of six (seemingly well-to-do) singles in Charleston, South Carolina. Now y'all, I visit Charleston on a regular basis, and I am not exactly sure what to think about this. Granted I am absolutely not running in the same circles as these people on the show, but still, I have always loved Charleston so I seriously hope the reputation of such a beloved city isn't ruined. It seems that reality television these days is hell bent on making Southerners look ridiculous, and this show seems to be no exception. So on that note, let's take a look at the cast who will inevitably be making fools of themselves this season. **DISCLAIMER** If some of these facts are wrong, blame Bravo's website and Wikipedia. Also, couldn't find ages for some of these people. Soz.

Craig Conover, 25

via Bravo

-He's from Delaware (AKA NOT SOUTHERN). I expect to hear a lot of forced "y'alls" and a fake southern accent

-Was going to/did (don't know, don't care) play college baseball.. I'm sure we'll hear about it like at least twice an episode

-I think he's an attorney (jk y'all... he's still in law school)

Cameran Eubanks, 30

via Bravo

-APPARENTLY WAS ON THE REAL WORLD?!?!?!

-^^literally everything I need to know about her... Hot tub makeout - soooooo rEaL wOrLd Y'aLl.

http://starcasm.net/archives/262735

Thomas Ravenel, 48

(Wikipedia says 51?! Regardless, WAY TOO OLD TO BE ON THIS SHOW.)

via Bravo

-From Charleston

-Rich, rich, RICH

-Former State Treasurer for South Carolina

-Got arrested for purchasing cocaine (I think? It had something to do with cocaine..)

Shepard "Shep" Rose, 34

via Bravo

-Originally from Hilton Head

-Looks like he's lived all over the place (Seriously, like, he's lived in Dubai)

-When he lived in South Florida he, in his own words, "partied with some ridiculous and highly entertaining aristocrats" (COOL STORY BRO)

Whitney Sudler-Smith

via Bravo

-Has lived in Los Angeles

-Writes screenplays and makes independent films. I have never heard of any of them that were in his bio on Bravo's website. I'm not listing them, so I guess check them out if you're curious?

-Apparently he likes to "maintain his dungeon" in his free time. Am I missing something? Seriously, I would like someone to explain this to me. If there is an actual dungeon, CRAZY PLOT TWIST FOR THE SEASON FINALE.

-Look out for his mother, Patricia Altschul, to be the real star of this show. First episode? Pink Birkin to match her pink gun. For real.
-Also, his cousin is engaged to Sophia Vergara. Hopefully she'll make an appearance!

Jenna King, 28

via Bravo

-Grew up in Sumter, South Carolina but has lived loads of places

-Seems that she's currently designing a line of gloves. DON'T WORRY SHE ISN'T STOPPING THERE. Jenna is "hoping to expand into sunglasses."

-Not overly sure how she navigates cobblestone streets in those shoes but good for her.

So, that's the cast. This is an official description of the show from Bravo's website:

"New series Southern Charm goes behind the walls of Charleston, South Carolina's most aristocratic families to reveal a world of exclusivity, money and scandal that goes back generations."

Now, I could be wrong, and I'm sure these people all have wonderful families, but we've got a former Real World-er in the cast, y'all. I'm not sure that these would qualify as the "most aristocratic families" in Charleston. It should literally just be like "these people live in Charleston and hang out together/we are making them hang out together and we're going to film it." But regardless of how I feel, I can bet y'all one thing, I know there are some Charlestonians not too happy with how the Holy City and its people are going to be portrayed. And I could be wrong. Really. Perhaps it'll be a delightfully refreshing show about the grace and charm of these fine, Southern men and women. Maybe I'll eat my words. Probably not, but maybe.

If you know me at all, you know that I love the inevitable train wreck that is reality TV so clearly I will be live tweeting this. Seriously though, as long as Andy Cohen is doing the reunion show, I am 100% watching so I can be in on all the drama. Will literally be on the edge of my seat, waiting for someone to say, "bless their heart" or call someone "trash."