Steve Spurrier resigned last night. As a resident of South Carolina, this has been the ONLY topic of conversation. Absolutely inescapable. And while I don't mind talking college football all day everyday, the more I heard people talking about the HBC, the more I realized... Steve Spurrier and Kanye West are the same person. I made the mistake of saying this to an actual South Carolina fan and they completely lost it.
But hear me out... they share some VERY defining characteristics.
1. Divisive Personality
There are some things in life you can be on the fence about- Calvin Harris' hair. Koala bears vs. panda bears. Which minion is your favorite. And then there are other things... like if you are Team Kanye or Team Not Kanye/Team Spurrier or Team Not Spurrier. You either love these men, or you hate them. There is no in between. There is no gray matter. There is no sometimes. It's an all or nothing thing. You think their antics are hilarious or you think they are the worst things to happen since Taylor Swift tried to make #squad happen. (And if you are Team Not Kanye/Spurrier you are probably secretly admiring them from afar even if you would never admit it.)
2. General Antics
There is something to be said for how little these two actually seem to care about what you think. They do whatever the hell they want, when they want. Wear a leather shirt and try to warn us about Taylor Swift? Check. Steve Spurrier on literally any sideline ever? Check. These two always seemed a hair's breath away from throwing a temper tantrum of epic proportions. Remember Kanye at Bonnaroo or the Spurrier vs. Ron Morris soap opera? They always seem to want to cause a scene and embarrass everyone within spitting distance - though neither one of them have enough shame to be embarrassed. Be real.
3. They Say Dumb Things
Basically every time they breath, they say something that makes you go, "SAY WHAT?!" Kanye is more on the bizarro end of the scale while Steve kind of makes you shake your head and go... r e a l l y ? ? ? Some of Spurrier's are pretty funny- the coloring books at Auburn, for example. Kanye's are not- Keeping Up With The Kardashians should win Emmys, for example. God hates black people vs. Free Shoes University. This list could go on until Kanye decides to release his new album a.k.a FOREVER.
4. They are absolute geniuses
You don't have to like Kanye. You don't have to like Steve. You don't even really have to respect them if you don't want to. But you cannot deny that they completely changed the game (one figuratively and one literally). Kanye arose from his producer's chair when "In Da Club" was the type of rap music that was dominating the industry and he gave us smart, edgy College Dropout. He took rap and elevated it to an art form that few had ever dreamed of. He paved the way for freaking Drake to be successful. Be honest, if you'd heard Drake in 2004 you would have laughed him back to his wheelchair (#JimmyGotShot). Steve Spurrier took college football and made high-scoring, high-powered offenses, not only a reality but the norm. Why score 10 when you can score 50? Why send one receiver when you can send five?! Like Mr. West, Steve took something that was good and made it freaking great. He paved the way for the exciting, uptempo offenses that we love to watch.
I take back what I said before, you do have to respect them. Get over it.
I'm a Kanye fan. I love his music. I tolerate his antics. I'm sad he's friends with Taylor Swift now. I don't like Spurrier. I can't imagine I ever will. But college football will be less without him throwing his visor/dragging his headset up and down the South Carolina sideline, his ridiculous press conferences and his general Kanye West-ness way of being.
Love him? Hate him? Neither care. They're just out there doing whatever the hell they want to. *Kanye Shrug* *Spurrier rides into the sunset on a golf cart*
If you want to yell at me about this, do it over on Twitter. Thanks.
Enjoy!
-C. xx.
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